drss

Well it has a been a bad 24 hours food wise.  I came home from an event at my kids school and my husband had ordered pepperoni pizza for himself and the kids.  3 slices later I went to bed.  I already had my frozen dinner before I left.  Then I went to Ikea and got their meatball plate with a cream gravey and fries.  And I just finished eating 2 bowls of Captin Crunch.

I know it isn’t the worst binge in the world but I had been doing well before this.  Well I hope confession is good for eating habits!

On the plus note I have exercised each day.  I was close to not going this morning.  A friend needed me to stay with her kids late last night because one of the 3 had to go to the hospital and her husband was out of town.  I thought getting up at 3 in the am was a valid excuse but I went to my spin class anyway. 

But I destroyed most of the good that has done me already today.  I guess I better have a salad for dinner!

 Hope you all are having a better day with your food - let me know!

So I believe in logging my food and thought that when I joined this on line food journal would be great.  But no.  I find it a serious pain.  It is so slow to put in what I eat.

 So for breakfast each morning I have oatmeal, with milk, whey protien powder, ground flax seed and frozen blueberries.  I make it for myself and my kids before they go to school.  I get what ever is left over, less than 1/2 a cup but I’m never sure exactly how much.  It is the healthest thing I have done food wise and stuck too now for 7 days (none of us do it on the weekend).  Well logging that in this system is so time consuming.  And I know I could make it a custom food but that also seems painful and I don’t think anyone else would ever use it.

So for myself her is today - +  didn’t snack, drank plenty of water and no cal beverages; - no veggies, not the best protien choices, potato chips 2x in one day but were in moderation each time;  Did Yoga today

Oatmeal, with milk, whey protien powder, ground flax seed and frozen blueberries

Apple

Two fat free hotdogs, two low cal pieces of bread, ketsup, 1/4 of an italian sausage, 4 oz apple juice with 10 oz water, some potato chips

1 cup fat free milk

High protien spagetti, with light meat sauce, 1 slice of french bread, no butter

1 sugar free fudge cycle; 1 snack bag of lays

The deterioration over the years is such an easy thing to do.  We all slow down but at first it doesn’t seem to catch up with us.  Our muscles turn to flab but our waistline or hip line doesn’t change.  By the time we see the effects; we have done such damage to our metabolism that the weight comes on like a snow ball rolling down hill.

I have had a weight problem since middle school.  I had terrible allergies and so couldn’t be outside in the summer much where I grew up.  Lived in a very rural area, didn’t have any friends in walking distance and wasn’t very physically active.  There have been several in my life were I did exercise a lot and the weight always came off then.  The summer before my 8^th grade – had an out of work father who I couldn’t stand to be around so I biked every chance I got.  The crush I had on a boy helped too.  Towards the end of graduate school, coming out of a depression and a awful relationship.   That stretch of hard core exercise and activity lasted several years.  Busy single urban lifestyle in Chicago really helped.  Plus having no money to go out to eat at all the WONDERFUL restaurants.  I miss them.

I moved to California in 1999 but I worked ridiculous hours and traveled.  My weight went back up maybe 10 pounds a year.  In 2002 I finally joined a gym out here and went off and on.  When pregnant with my first child in 2003 I was so sick for months I ended the pregnancy weighing less than when I started.  I was pretty active him while on leave from work but as soon as I went back, things went down hill.   After having my second child in 2005, I was even more active both during  and after the pregnancy.   I was on the elliptical the day before she was born and I was back at the gym 5 days after she was born. 

By mid 2005 I was in really good shape.  Then I got this crazy assignment tremendous pressure and stress, hundreds of people’s jobs on the line, including my husbands.  I couldn’t tell anyone what I was doing.  I had to travel on a moment’s notice.  The workouts stopped and the pounds came rolling in.

In mid Aug of 2007 I stopped working and do consulting on the side and raise my two kids full time.  I did a good job of exercising when I was home.  But between then and now I have been traveling to see family all over the country and have spent close to 4 months away from home.   On top of that I spent about 1 month both the kids and I sick with a variety of things over the holidays.  And I spent about 6 weeks on crutches because of ankle problems.   Still with all that I’m shocked I have not lost any weight but gain 5-10 lbs in the last year and the heaviest I’ve ever been ( minus being 9 months pregnant with 10 lb kid).

So I have been pretty good this week.  Not perfect but better than I was the week before and honestly good enough to be proud of.  My exercise was very good – 6 out of 7 days serious exercise (spin class, rollerblading – not just walking the dog).  But I don’t think I’ve lost any weight.  I’ll know for sure tomorrow but I know.

But on the good side, I know I have done the right things to help myself and move my metabolism in the right direction.

Just starting to roll the snowball back up hill…

So I admit that I was a 90210 fan back in the day.  I wasn’t obsessed but I liked it.  I’ve been completely out of tune with any CW pop show in forever.   I never saw the “Creek”, “OC” or “One Tree Hill”.  I thought I would tune in tonight for a bit of nostalgia and see what pop culture is up to.

There are so many things wrong with what I saw but I’m not going into all of them.  The most striking things I saw was that my right thigh weighs more than all the teenage girls … COMBINED.

I’m not the picture of a healthy body.  But this is CRAZY!  They show them eating a thimble full of salad for lunch.  That is not healthy for a 15-16 year old girl.  They need some protein or they can got in line now for the antidepressants they are going to need in the next few years.  Fat is also needed for the brain to function properly. 

I was kind of thinking that they we were making moves to have the more sports, athletic types as role models for women but I was clearly delusional. 

I don’t envy my the future body image my 3 year old girl has to face.  I’m hoping she is going to get more of her father’s side of the family body genes but I have to be honest that she probably has a disproportionally large butt in her future.   I’ll be there for her but so will these shows and the magazines.  Ugh!

Tried to post my weight but the system wouldn’t save it.  Unfortunately is 190 UHG - I knew I was right under that but to break the 190 is pretty bad.  Well that is why I’m doing this.  Since I couldn’t do the weigh in it wouldn’t let me put in a food log so I’m going to put it here

Breakfast - Pear & hard boiled egg white

Snack - some sugar snap peas and baby carrots, 2 bites of daughters left over sandwich

Lunch - pear, chiliquies - yum!

Haven’t gone to the gym yet but I will do it this evening

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  Here is mine.  I need to commit to someone I’m going to do something different.  Today I commit to me.  I will log my food, I will exercise, I will eat two servings veg and one fruit a day.  I will lose 20 lbs by my 40th birthday.  

Can use all the support I can get.  Looking forward to this group and doing well.